Jokes: No. Me Neither.

Quotes of the Day

The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that 

you can never know if they are genuine.

-Abraham Lincoln-

Minus

Originated from Kiwis by Beat and as appears on 9gag.

Telur Yang Dipertaruhkan

Ada seorang pak cik yang bernama Pak DI yang sangat kaya. Setiap hari beliau akan menyimpan RM1000 di bank. Setiap hari tepat pukul 9 pagi Pak DI dah pun bersiap sedia terpacak di kuanter bank untuk menympan RM1000nya. Setelah lebih kurang setahun berlalu, kehadirannya setiap hari disedari oleh Manager Bank. Manager Bank itu pun memanggilnya ke office dan bertanya:


Manager: Setiap hari saya lihat pak cik akan menympan RM1000 di bank. Apa kerja pak cik?
Pak DI: Saya ni sebenarnya tak de kerja encik. Cuma saya suka bertaruh. Setiap hari saya akan bertaruh dan saya tak pernah kalah.
Manager: Ooo... ini sudah cukup bagus. Tapi pak cik mungkin belum bertemu dengan orang yang teror macam saya ni. Kalau pak cik bertaruh dengan saya jangan haraplah nak menang.
Pak DI: Iye ke? Kalau macam tu jom kita bertaruh.
Manager: Okay. Sebutkan apa saja pak cik nak bertaruh dengan saya.
Pak DI: Macam ni.... dalam tempoh 7 hari dari sekarang encik akan kehilangan telur encik. Kalau betul encik akan hilang RM1000, kalau tak saya akan bayar encik RM1000.
Manager: Hahaha.. tak logiklah pak cik. Tapi tak pe... saya setuju. Setelah kedua-duanya setuju mereka pun beredar.


Besoknya bila bangun pagi Manager tu pun meraba telurnya.. ooh masih ada. Begitulah seterusnya hinggalah sampai ke hari yang ketujuh dia dapati telurnya masih lagi ada.. Dengan suka hatinya Manager tersebut pun pergilah berjumpa dengan Pak DI.

Farting at Tiffany's

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.


As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.


Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a salesperson was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.


Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's.


He politely greets the lady with, “Good day, madam. How may we help you today?”


Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks “Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?” 


And he answers “Madam. If you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price.”

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.


Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He just dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris and Superman fought each other on a bet. the loser had to wear his underpants outside his pants.

Chuck Norris once peed in a truck's gas tank, that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.





Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.

Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.

Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet in 'Wanted', Chuck Norris can curve a laser.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

Chuck Norris appeared on all 6 Star Wars movies... as The Force.

Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Quotes of the Day

Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse.
-TallCornelius-